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Monday, December 1, 2008
? Unless you aim for my heart, you'll always miss ¿
Love is how it's lost, not how it's found.
School was dreadful. It was horrible because I-know-what. Yeh, right when I needed you, you're not here. Sigh.
My horoscope needs to stop being the story of my day, seriously.
Your Horoscope Today : 1 Dec 2008
Don`t give up if things don`t go your way today; just try again. You may face some hurdles but optimism and persistence will the most important tools for you today. A positive outlook to life is required most at this time. You will surely be able to overcome any obstacles through your keen intelligence and your force of will.
I'm not having the best nights tonight. With our song playing on repeat in iTunes, tears falling like rain, used tissues almost everywhere, fighting against myself.
And tonight I will weep, cry myself to sleep & pray to God for better days & a remedy to get someone out of my system in the fastest way possible.
"I have this theory that the more important & intimate the emotion, the fewer words are required to express it. For instance, in dating. 'Will you go out with me?' Six words. 'I think I care for you.' Five words. 'You matter to me.' Four words. 'I love you.' Three words. 'Marry me.' Two words. So what's left? What's the one most important & intimate word you can ever say to somebody? It's 'goodbye.'" (By J. Michael Straczynski.)
It's almost three months & I'm still crying, still bawling, still loving you, still wanting you, still needing you. Why? It's about time I stop, no?
I want to forget you so bad just so I can be happy again. But I don't want to forget. I don't want to lose what I feel for you. I don't want what we feel for each other to go away. I know, I know you feel it too. Look me right in my eyes & tell me that you don't feel the same. Else, I'd say we still belong together. I don't want to lose what I have in plans for you, for me, for us. I don't want my feelings for you to ever go away. I want them to stay because I know these feelings for you are special & emotions I spill for you are special too because they are for you. Because you're my first to almost everything, that makes you absolutely much more special than anything else to me in the world. Do you realise? You don't. When will you ever realise? What is taking you so long to pick me up?
And if you ask me, I'd choose to walk this path & go through all of these again for you. All over again, right from the very happy beginning for you. Only for you & no one else.
Don't make me wait too long dear. When you are done, remember I will be right here waiting for you to come pick me up.. ok?
But looking back I guess I didn't know that I was in love & you were letting go.
Feeling: Very light :) Listening: The tv
Yes indeed very light. I feel happy typing this, haha. I woke up to an empty house, with the dream I dreamt of last night playing in my head. Oh, did I mention that I dreamt of you again? I played some music on the stereo just so I wouldn't feel so quiet. When I was in the kitchen, I feel you. All of a sudden. The smell of nicotine rise up like the hot air balloon, then came this familiar smell that I used to smell like whenever I get home after spending a day with you. No no no, I musn't think so much..
Fifteen minutes to 12pm, I took out the diary & wrote a letter to you, telling you how I really feel. As much as I wish you'd read it, you will never get the chance to. Just when I was about to leave the house, I cut on something & I was bleeding profusely. It was extremely painful :( I couldn't stop the blood at all! I hope there won't be a scar.. :/ I was so fed up with myself in the train when I realised that I forgot to take my medication in the morning. I hate it, I want to get well soon & I should take my medicine regularly!!
School was amazing today. I was telling they two I'm feeling very happy today & I asked if they can feel it. My mood affects my out & about in the day, as you can see. What I learned today really amazed me. TPSW is quite fun after all, despite the Wolverine lookalike lecturer. I cannot stop saying, 'Omg he looks a lot like Wolverine with that hair! And with the *makes a face* grrr look!'
Shimin came to school late but she bought something for us! J.co donuts <3<3 :D
Hazelnut, double chcocolate, oreo!
I had the double chocolate one :) Yumyum!
After class, Shimin & I sat at Outram station to waste a little time before she head for work as it was still early. We left at around 5.30pm & I got home at 6pm. The train was fast today!
I watched this video twice & still lol-ed. I love Ellen Denegeres :)
It won't be long now, until you come crawling back for more. I've got to admit I'm hoping that I'm what you're looking for. You are the greatest thing that's happened to me. If you stay with me, I can prove we will make it together. I wish I could still say this but decisions have been made & I'm not gonna change my mind. I'm proud of myself for what I've decided to do. I really hope I will start seeing myself soon :)
Oh am gee you guys (Ellen Denegeres said that in the video!), check out my horoscope for today. I'm so..shocked.
Your Horoscope Today : 18 Nov 2008
You will be on a mental and physical high today. Your high spirits will charm everyone around you, be it at home or at work. Even your output at work increases in quality and quantity because of this! Use today to push forward on any pending tasks and your productivity will be exceptionally high today.
I'm feeling happier than before after I've read this.
Oh I did not mention in yesterday's post that this sem we are having class with another class, DMCD2 0846A. There's this shy Thai boy..& if you don't know, I always have fetish for Thai boys. And shy boys really interest me hahaha I think they are cute! And there's this hottie who sat in front me yesterday..he totally 'whaaaa' the girls when he turned around! I wonder if he's mixed, he sure look mixed to me.. I really wanna know, damn curious!
Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them, & sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.
There's morning class tomorrow, 9-12pm!! :( :( After that I'll have lunch with the girls (yay finally) before meeting J for movie. I've been on the phone with Yan for the past few days & she never fails to make me smile or laugh at least once before we hang up. And we agreed that she'll come over when the folks are away yay!! :D Someone promised to accompany me, but I don't know if they remember.. Anyway I'm really tired, I've been sleeping at 4am almost every night! I shall have an early night :)
P/s: Yan ahhhh where are you!! We need to discuss about x & I need to tell you about x!
? Now I don't know if I'm ever really gonna let you go ¿
I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this like every inch of me is bruised.
Horoscopes can be so scary. Mine for today.
Your Horoscope Today : 17 Nov 2008
Your relationship with a loved one may not be very warm at this time. As much as you would like to sort matters out immediately, this may not be happening to your satisfaction.Maybe this loved one needs time and understanding. Give them enough time, but try to keep the dialogue going on some small level. Tackle the issue with a lot of tact and diplomacy.
I read it to Yan over the phone & her immediate response was 'What the fuck, damn accurate la yours!'.
Jemi: Us! We're gonna get you out. GET YOU OUTTTT of it.
The journey to school was really hard but I survived it. The journey from school back home was even harder. I was sobbing throughout the whole ride home. J was on the phone with me, trying to keep me positive & tell me how things are like from her view outside of the circle I'm in.
She kept telling me that people come & go, & I should be able to accept this by now after having to face so much of these in my entire eighteen years of life. But I guess I'm not strong enough. I always thought that I was. Looking at the state I am in right now really disappoints me a lot. I've never seen this side of Glynis. J told me to stay positive. But the more I try to, something else will come along the way to bring me down. I told her I dread every morning that I wake up to, I'm afraid of falling asleep every night. 'Cos I don't know what I am about to face, what I have to put up with, who am I gonna meet again tonight in my dreams, how much fake smiles I have to put up before the day is over. And she said something that kept ringing in my head, 'Do you know that every single day that you wake up to, the misery gets a little bit lesser but you just don't feel it? 'Cos you keep saying it's hard but you don't know that it is getting better everyday. Look at it at a different light. Don't be so negative.'
Make sense, really it does.
To the boy sitting in front of me:
You are so hot, call me 9xx9xxx8
Love, Glyn :)
He asked us to do this assignment today.
Qns: What is happiness?
My answer: Happiness is when I have you. Happiness is when I know you're always there. Happiness is when you'll catch me when I fall. Happiness is when you never fail to put up a smile on my face. Happiness is when I know that you love me. Happiness is when I have tangles in my hair & you still look me in the eye & tell me I'm beautiful.
Shimin read it & she was like, 'Eh, stand up & read la. Daring a bit. Stand up & read!'
I shall post this question on ljcommunities or forums to see other people's answer! :D
I am trying to grap the notion that you no longer care. It is kinda like I am numb to the factor that you no longer love me the same like before. As much as it hurts, I keep thinking maybe you'll come back.
Oh, if you're wondering, first day of school sucked. So badly. The lecturer is by far the worst lecturer I've seen. Ugh.. So not looking forward to tomorrow :( I'm going to sleep now, g'night!
? Unless you aim for my heart, you'll always miss ¿
Love is how it's lost, not how it's found.
School was dreadful. It was horrible because I-know-what. Yeh, right when I needed you, you're not here. Sigh.
My horoscope needs to stop being the story of my day, seriously.
Your Horoscope Today : 1 Dec 2008
Don`t give up if things don`t go your way today; just try again. You may face some hurdles but optimism and persistence will the most important tools for you today. A positive outlook to life is required most at this time. You will surely be able to overcome any obstacles through your keen intelligence and your force of will.
I'm not having the best nights tonight. With our song playing on repeat in iTunes, tears falling like rain, used tissues almost everywhere, fighting against myself.
And tonight I will weep, cry myself to sleep & pray to God for better days & a remedy to get someone out of my system in the fastest way possible.
"I have this theory that the more important & intimate the emotion, the fewer words are required to express it. For instance, in dating. 'Will you go out with me?' Six words. 'I think I care for you.' Five words. 'You matter to me.' Four words. 'I love you.' Three words. 'Marry me.' Two words. So what's left? What's the one most important & intimate word you can ever say to somebody? It's 'goodbye.'" (By J. Michael Straczynski.)
It's almost three months & I'm still crying, still bawling, still loving you, still wanting you, still needing you. Why? It's about time I stop, no?
I want to forget you so bad just so I can be happy again. But I don't want to forget. I don't want to lose what I feel for you. I don't want what we feel for each other to go away. I know, I know you feel it too. Look me right in my eyes & tell me that you don't feel the same. Else, I'd say we still belong together. I don't want to lose what I have in plans for you, for me, for us. I don't want my feelings for you to ever go away. I want them to stay because I know these feelings for you are special & emotions I spill for you are special too because they are for you. Because you're my first to almost everything, that makes you absolutely much more special than anything else to me in the world. Do you realise? You don't. When will you ever realise? What is taking you so long to pick me up?
And if you ask me, I'd choose to walk this path & go through all of these again for you. All over again, right from the very happy beginning for you. Only for you & no one else.
Don't make me wait too long dear. When you are done, remember I will be right here waiting for you to come pick me up.. ok?
But looking back I guess I didn't know that I was in love & you were letting go.
Feeling: Very light :) Listening: The tv
Yes indeed very light. I feel happy typing this, haha. I woke up to an empty house, with the dream I dreamt of last night playing in my head. Oh, did I mention that I dreamt of you again? I played some music on the stereo just so I wouldn't feel so quiet. When I was in the kitchen, I feel you. All of a sudden. The smell of nicotine rise up like the hot air balloon, then came this familiar smell that I used to smell like whenever I get home after spending a day with you. No no no, I musn't think so much..
Fifteen minutes to 12pm, I took out the diary & wrote a letter to you, telling you how I really feel. As much as I wish you'd read it, you will never get the chance to. Just when I was about to leave the house, I cut on something & I was bleeding profusely. It was extremely painful :( I couldn't stop the blood at all! I hope there won't be a scar.. :/ I was so fed up with myself in the train when I realised that I forgot to take my medication in the morning. I hate it, I want to get well soon & I should take my medicine regularly!!
School was amazing today. I was telling they two I'm feeling very happy today & I asked if they can feel it. My mood affects my out & about in the day, as you can see. What I learned today really amazed me. TPSW is quite fun after all, despite the Wolverine lookalike lecturer. I cannot stop saying, 'Omg he looks a lot like Wolverine with that hair! And with the *makes a face* grrr look!'
Shimin came to school late but she bought something for us! J.co donuts <3<3 :D
Hazelnut, double chcocolate, oreo!
I had the double chocolate one :) Yumyum!
After class, Shimin & I sat at Outram station to waste a little time before she head for work as it was still early. We left at around 5.30pm & I got home at 6pm. The train was fast today!
I watched this video twice & still lol-ed. I love Ellen Denegeres :)
It won't be long now, until you come crawling back for more. I've got to admit I'm hoping that I'm what you're looking for. You are the greatest thing that's happened to me. If you stay with me, I can prove we will make it together. I wish I could still say this but decisions have been made & I'm not gonna change my mind. I'm proud of myself for what I've decided to do. I really hope I will start seeing myself soon :)
Oh am gee you guys (Ellen Denegeres said that in the video!), check out my horoscope for today. I'm so..shocked.
Your Horoscope Today : 18 Nov 2008
You will be on a mental and physical high today. Your high spirits will charm everyone around you, be it at home or at work. Even your output at work increases in quality and quantity because of this! Use today to push forward on any pending tasks and your productivity will be exceptionally high today.
I'm feeling happier than before after I've read this.
Oh I did not mention in yesterday's post that this sem we are having class with another class, DMCD2 0846A. There's this shy Thai boy..& if you don't know, I always have fetish for Thai boys. And shy boys really interest me hahaha I think they are cute! And there's this hottie who sat in front me yesterday..he totally 'whaaaa' the girls when he turned around! I wonder if he's mixed, he sure look mixed to me.. I really wanna know, damn curious!
Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them, & sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.
There's morning class tomorrow, 9-12pm!! :( :( After that I'll have lunch with the girls (yay finally) before meeting J for movie. I've been on the phone with Yan for the past few days & she never fails to make me smile or laugh at least once before we hang up. And we agreed that she'll come over when the folks are away yay!! :D Someone promised to accompany me, but I don't know if they remember.. Anyway I'm really tired, I've been sleeping at 4am almost every night! I shall have an early night :)
P/s: Yan ahhhh where are you!! We need to discuss about x & I need to tell you about x!
? Now I don't know if I'm ever really gonna let you go ¿
I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this like every inch of me is bruised.
Horoscopes can be so scary. Mine for today.
Your Horoscope Today : 17 Nov 2008
Your relationship with a loved one may not be very warm at this time. As much as you would like to sort matters out immediately, this may not be happening to your satisfaction.Maybe this loved one needs time and understanding. Give them enough time, but try to keep the dialogue going on some small level. Tackle the issue with a lot of tact and diplomacy.
I read it to Yan over the phone & her immediate response was 'What the fuck, damn accurate la yours!'.
Jemi: Us! We're gonna get you out. GET YOU OUTTTT of it.
The journey to school was really hard but I survived it. The journey from school back home was even harder. I was sobbing throughout the whole ride home. J was on the phone with me, trying to keep me positive & tell me how things are like from her view outside of the circle I'm in.
She kept telling me that people come & go, & I should be able to accept this by now after having to face so much of these in my entire eighteen years of life. But I guess I'm not strong enough. I always thought that I was. Looking at the state I am in right now really disappoints me a lot. I've never seen this side of Glynis. J told me to stay positive. But the more I try to, something else will come along the way to bring me down. I told her I dread every morning that I wake up to, I'm afraid of falling asleep every night. 'Cos I don't know what I am about to face, what I have to put up with, who am I gonna meet again tonight in my dreams, how much fake smiles I have to put up before the day is over. And she said something that kept ringing in my head, 'Do you know that every single day that you wake up to, the misery gets a little bit lesser but you just don't feel it? 'Cos you keep saying it's hard but you don't know that it is getting better everyday. Look at it at a different light. Don't be so negative.'
Make sense, really it does.
To the boy sitting in front of me:
You are so hot, call me 9xx9xxx8
Love, Glyn :)
He asked us to do this assignment today.
Qns: What is happiness?
My answer: Happiness is when I have you. Happiness is when I know you're always there. Happiness is when you'll catch me when I fall. Happiness is when you never fail to put up a smile on my face. Happiness is when I know that you love me. Happiness is when I have tangles in my hair & you still look me in the eye & tell me I'm beautiful.
Shimin read it & she was like, 'Eh, stand up & read la. Daring a bit. Stand up & read!'
I shall post this question on ljcommunities or forums to see other people's answer! :D
I am trying to grap the notion that you no longer care. It is kinda like I am numb to the factor that you no longer love me the same like before. As much as it hurts, I keep thinking maybe you'll come back.
Oh, if you're wondering, first day of school sucked. So badly. The lecturer is by far the worst lecturer I've seen. Ugh.. So not looking forward to tomorrow :( I'm going to sleep now, g'night!
Glynis \g-ly-nis\ pronounced as glare-niece, lived through eighteen years of love, joy & hardship since 200890.
She's currently doing Diploma in Mass Communications in MDIS.
She takes interest in art, fashion, photography & not forgetting, shopping. Her friends & family are her utmost adoration.
She doesn't know what she wants anymore. All she knows is who she wants & it's the one who doesn't want her back.
TKC
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