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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
? So this is goodbye ¿
314th post, and this is goodbye.
Few minutes into 2009, and this is also goodbye.
To 2008, to this eventful year, to this love & joy filled much blog.
? You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind ¿
What a way to start the last day of 2008, the eve of the first day of 2009.
Not a fascinating way, but heart warming. Because of you.
The longest & also the best conversation we had. Not better or longer than the ones we had when we were all good. But guess what? I was shaking when you said hello. My palms were perspiring, body shaking, heart racing. I never felt this way after mom & dad left for Beijing. I can always calm myself down easily but this time felt so..different. Why is it so difficult to, I don't know. I thought you were gonna throw into a fit and start being nasty to me but who knew the talk is looking good.
Fucking glad, fucking fucking relieved.
Despite what took place last noon.
Don't blame me for being angry. I mean, natural reaction right? You probably don't give two fucks about it if it were me but because I do, that's why I reacted this way. But then on my way home, I thought if I were in the same position, I'd do the same. I should've understand. My bad.
But I'm all good now, and you know that.
Honestly, I had a lot more than just that to ask you. Like why didn't you ask, why didn't you come, what if I asked you out, do you miss me, do you think of me, do you wish i was right where you were, do you wish i was there to listen to you, do you wish this whole episode didn't took place & all that. I'm sure you can feel it too. I just..didn't have that much amount of courage to ask and not get upset with your reply. Plus you weren't asking me anything, saying you've gotten all the answers you needed..which make me feel like I shouldn't ask too much just so I won't irritate you. Maybe not tonight. I don't know when would I have a chance to talk to you like this again but I hope there will be a chance.
"Be there as much as possible, because that's the only time I can be near you, be close to you, being in your presence, at every possible moment of your life. Is it too big a request?"
Every possible moment of your life.
I wish you were nearer, I wish you were here.
You know I will spill my heart & let the emotions & thoughts of you flow here in my only outlet, any day. If you ever think that no one cares or loves you, please know you still have me darling.
Because I love you too, always have & always will.
♥
I've waited so long to prove that I'm in love with you, will every door that's open lead me straight to you?
? The heart of a sensitive person suffers too much to love ¿
To find someone you love, you've gotta be someone you love.
M: Don't give a fuck la
Yeh I won't, I am not going to. I did but I am not going to now. Super pissed off/jealous/exasperated with you & your stupid ways, stupid thinking. Go, just go hide in your own shell & be stubborn for all I fucking care!
Before leaving for school, I received my parcels! The Forever21 stuff I bought arrived yay! The Chanel necklace & earstuds arrived too hohoho totally made my morning better, other than missing the yummy lunch I looked forward to have. School was pretty okay today. We ended up having lunch in school. Chicken cutlet yumz! Naidu was nagging like a bitch, which is very very him so whatever. The walk to the train station was plaining cursing and swearing, filled with angst. Took train back home with Marc! Quite silent because poor boy is still down with sore throat. He already planned not to attend Friday's class but I have to be there for Shim's presentation... Will see how!
I am also pissed that you went off without letting me see you properly. Tamade, laoniang now damn hot ah >:@
So where does one find love? There's the first kiss. The sloppy kiss. The peck. The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss. The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss. The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad sometimes kiss. The I know your tongue like the back of my hand kiss.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The intersection of function & desire. The I do kiss. The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss. Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth, like a mermaid of the soil,just to be next to your bones.
I am so annoyed now with so many things. GG is loading very very slowly, buay tahan. And I have no photos to upload today :( Yan just told me what the whole show is gonna be like -.- I AM VERY UPSET THAT LILY ISN'T GOING TO MARRY RUFUS I LOVE THEM TOGETHER :( :( And I like how Blair and Nate are still together despite the mistakes they've made. I also like how Dan & Serena is so omfg-i-am-envious-and-very-jealous sweet & loving together :) :)
I will continue with GG now heh heh I need to plan where to go tomorrow, not stay in & think of your stupid ways & get all emotional. Hmph, GG will cheer me up tata!
I miss you.
And I have been missing you for a while.
Gossip Girl makes me happy, just like how reading Twilight does. And now, New Moon. Though it's kinda boring now 'cos the part I'm reading Edward is not around. I hope he comes back soon to excite things once again.
We were supposed to meet up at 12 for Swensen's at Holland V but apparently our Little Miss Late is still asleep. Yes at 12. I can happily kiss my lunch goodbye now. I was looking forward to it. (insert sad face here)
Last Tuesday of 2008, tomorrow's the last day of 2008.
I am not looking forward to it at all. I don't even have plans. Other than family dinner at Seafood Paradise at Singapore Flyer tomorrow night. After that, I want to have plans!! (inserts frown face here) Jemi is with boyfriend, I bet Shim would be too. So is Yan, defo with M & the sisters. J is being an irritating pest, waiting for me to ask her out while I'm waiting for her to ask me out (HAHAHA). I wonder if Jon, Ted & Merl are going anywhere tomorrow. I think they are. But where I do not know. Wait..why am I worry so much I do not welcome 2009 so I should not countdown & stay home and emo!!
Ok actually I should welcome 2009 because it is gonna be a much better year for me, riiiiight? (inserts happy face here)
Danica & I are complaining how we don't wanna attend today's class but I know you'll be there so I should attend. Recalling what you said to me last night, all the more I should go. I know it is gonna hurt a little when I see VVS40TTNG & not me in the passenger seat but still, I wanna be there at every possible moment in your life.
I'm gonna continue with GG until Jemi calls me.
kz l8r GG + school for naw ^^
? I was just living in the moment & the moment was all about you ¿
Katy Perry - Thinking of You
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...
You're the best And yes I do regret How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
x
I think you'd ever only strike a conversation with me when you need my help or thank me for something. So it will start with 'thank you' with your favourite double chin smiley & end with 'welcome' or 'no problem' plus a smiley of my liking.
I'm sure it is not so hard to talk to me.. Or is it really this hard? I guess I made it this hard. I'm sorry.
But tonight I think this is the longest conversation we ever had between us after that we-all-know-because-of-what-stupid-things-I-did conversation. Yay or nay?
Yay for me but nay for you.
x
I like what we have now because there is this home feeling with you, not because of this complicated platonic relationship. I don't wanna go into talking about us again because I know after that you're gonna start behaving all weirdly, tell me things I don't wanna hear or things that would hurt me & the pain would last for a few days. I don't want that to happen. I wanna keep things how we're like now. Close like lovers are but inside, I don't know where your heart lies but I know the home of my heart is your heart.
"Your heart said so."
"No, I'm sure it didn't. Although my heart is nearer to you than it is to me, I am sure it wouldn't say that of you. My heart knows that I love you."
And next? I had to change topic with a snap of my fingers before you start your nonsense again. See how much I don't wanna hear what I don't wanna hear? I really like what we do together. Having plans for the next outing, next next outing, next next next outing just like before. Having plans to meet up with mutual friends for dinner or just to catch up over coffee, shop for the same things together, things you like = things I like, I know what you hate most & vice versa, knowing what each other is craving to have for dinner at that very moment, without having to ask we both know what we're thinking about just by exchanging glances.
You're the lover kind of best friend, the best friend kind of lover.
I don't think I can ever live without you, darling.
♥
I've been trying to cheer you up, put my unhappy self behind so it wouldn't affect your mood at all. And right now, I am so fucking drained. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Bedtime, g'night xx
Love me, because loves doesn't exist, & I have tried everything that does.
I had quite a blast today with J, the last Monday of 2008 :)
School was pretty alright. I weren't listening most of the time. Klissmas lunch was good :) Since when lunch wasn't good with the girls? More prease!
After lunch, I headed over to Cathay to meet J. Accompanied her to lunch at Plaza by the Park's Kopitiam, sat around & discussed about the birthday celebration. It was about time for our movie so we walked back to Cathay.
Guess what, Twilight was very very good. Fabulous. I love it!
E & B ♥
They make me want to be a vampire too. Be with the one you love forever & never die. Go without sleep for years and never get limited edition Gucci eye bags. Have perfect complexion. Strength. Speed. I want :(
I think I will watch it again.
After the movie, it was around 6pm. We went over to Clarke Quay. Wanted to have dinner at Fisherman's Wharf but the stench was unbearable. Didn't wanna smell bad after dinner either! So we took a train back to my place & had Ajisen instead :) Bumped into Yan (L)(L)(L) who's sick & back from KL!!!!! We exchanged presents & she got me this leopard & zebra printed buffers! Cuuuuute I like :) Thank you bff <3
We were early so we did the usual thing. Sat around at the park to talk. We had a lot of fun today, didn't we J? Laughing & teasing people, the jokes & all that. I love today :)
Right: I was laughing............
SO FAKE SIA
First attempt: FAILED
Second attempt: NOT TOO BAD
Third attempt: PERFECT LA
I am not going to do the assignment because I am very very tired. I only had few hours of sleep. I keep waking up throughout the night for god knows what reasons for god knows who. I am going to sleep without even doing Naidu's homework. Goodnight sugarbabies.
P/s: Thank you :) Happy 19th xoxo!
P/p/s: Yan wo ai ni hen duo, prease get well soon so we can go picnic karaoke shopping movie idk whatever everything anything wo ai ni! (L)
? But you're afraid in ways that I can't comprehend ¿
There's gotta be a reason for the rain.
I'm fucking early. I woke up at 6.30am. Zel was up at 6.50am for CCA fair. Stupid. I was ready to leave at 7.15am, much earlier than every other day. So I came on & watched Gossip Girl.
Yeh at 7 frikkin' am in the morning.
I was thinking if I should start on the homework Naidu give us, tsk. Assignments are not enough, still give homework :(
My eyez r so painfool & I love Blair. Serena's pretty. I h8 Vanessa's existance. I luv Gossip Girl.
Yayz klissmas lunch & Twilight l8r ^^
Ah Jems is still not done, I shall continue with GG.
I promise a proper update tonight!
♥
? You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind ¿
What a way to start the last day of 2008, the eve of the first day of 2009.
Not a fascinating way, but heart warming. Because of you.
The longest & also the best conversation we had. Not better or longer than the ones we had when we were all good. But guess what? I was shaking when you said hello. My palms were perspiring, body shaking, heart racing. I never felt this way after mom & dad left for Beijing. I can always calm myself down easily but this time felt so..different. Why is it so difficult to, I don't know. I thought you were gonna throw into a fit and start being nasty to me but who knew the talk is looking good.
Fucking glad, fucking fucking relieved.
Despite what took place last noon.
Don't blame me for being angry. I mean, natural reaction right? You probably don't give two fucks about it if it were me but because I do, that's why I reacted this way. But then on my way home, I thought if I were in the same position, I'd do the same. I should've understand. My bad.
But I'm all good now, and you know that.
Honestly, I had a lot more than just that to ask you. Like why didn't you ask, why didn't you come, what if I asked you out, do you miss me, do you think of me, do you wish i was right where you were, do you wish i was there to listen to you, do you wish this whole episode didn't took place & all that. I'm sure you can feel it too. I just..didn't have that much amount of courage to ask and not get upset with your reply. Plus you weren't asking me anything, saying you've gotten all the answers you needed..which make me feel like I shouldn't ask too much just so I won't irritate you. Maybe not tonight. I don't know when would I have a chance to talk to you like this again but I hope there will be a chance.
"Be there as much as possible, because that's the only time I can be near you, be close to you, being in your presence, at every possible moment of your life. Is it too big a request?"
Every possible moment of your life.
I wish you were nearer, I wish you were here.
You know I will spill my heart & let the emotions & thoughts of you flow here in my only outlet, any day. If you ever think that no one cares or loves you, please know you still have me darling.
Because I love you too, always have & always will.
♥
I've waited so long to prove that I'm in love with you, will every door that's open lead me straight to you?
? The heart of a sensitive person suffers too much to love ¿
To find someone you love, you've gotta be someone you love.
M: Don't give a fuck la
Yeh I won't, I am not going to. I did but I am not going to now. Super pissed off/jealous/exasperated with you & your stupid ways, stupid thinking. Go, just go hide in your own shell & be stubborn for all I fucking care!
Before leaving for school, I received my parcels! The Forever21 stuff I bought arrived yay! The Chanel necklace & earstuds arrived too hohoho totally made my morning better, other than missing the yummy lunch I looked forward to have. School was pretty okay today. We ended up having lunch in school. Chicken cutlet yumz! Naidu was nagging like a bitch, which is very very him so whatever. The walk to the train station was plaining cursing and swearing, filled with angst. Took train back home with Marc! Quite silent because poor boy is still down with sore throat. He already planned not to attend Friday's class but I have to be there for Shim's presentation... Will see how!
I am also pissed that you went off without letting me see you properly. Tamade, laoniang now damn hot ah >:@
So where does one find love? There's the first kiss. The sloppy kiss. The peck. The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss. The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss. The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad sometimes kiss. The I know your tongue like the back of my hand kiss.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The intersection of function & desire. The I do kiss. The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss. Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth, like a mermaid of the soil,just to be next to your bones.
I am so annoyed now with so many things. GG is loading very very slowly, buay tahan. And I have no photos to upload today :( Yan just told me what the whole show is gonna be like -.- I AM VERY UPSET THAT LILY ISN'T GOING TO MARRY RUFUS I LOVE THEM TOGETHER :( :( And I like how Blair and Nate are still together despite the mistakes they've made. I also like how Dan & Serena is so omfg-i-am-envious-and-very-jealous sweet & loving together :) :)
I will continue with GG now heh heh I need to plan where to go tomorrow, not stay in & think of your stupid ways & get all emotional. Hmph, GG will cheer me up tata!
I miss you.
And I have been missing you for a while.
Gossip Girl makes me happy, just like how reading Twilight does. And now, New Moon. Though it's kinda boring now 'cos the part I'm reading Edward is not around. I hope he comes back soon to excite things once again.
We were supposed to meet up at 12 for Swensen's at Holland V but apparently our Little Miss Late is still asleep. Yes at 12. I can happily kiss my lunch goodbye now. I was looking forward to it. (insert sad face here)
Last Tuesday of 2008, tomorrow's the last day of 2008.
I am not looking forward to it at all. I don't even have plans. Other than family dinner at Seafood Paradise at Singapore Flyer tomorrow night. After that, I want to have plans!! (inserts frown face here) Jemi is with boyfriend, I bet Shim would be too. So is Yan, defo with M & the sisters. J is being an irritating pest, waiting for me to ask her out while I'm waiting for her to ask me out (HAHAHA). I wonder if Jon, Ted & Merl are going anywhere tomorrow. I think they are. But where I do not know. Wait..why am I worry so much I do not welcome 2009 so I should not countdown & stay home and emo!!
Ok actually I should welcome 2009 because it is gonna be a much better year for me, riiiiight? (inserts happy face here)
Danica & I are complaining how we don't wanna attend today's class but I know you'll be there so I should attend. Recalling what you said to me last night, all the more I should go. I know it is gonna hurt a little when I see VVS40TTNG & not me in the passenger seat but still, I wanna be there at every possible moment in your life.
I'm gonna continue with GG until Jemi calls me.
kz l8r GG + school for naw ^^
? I was just living in the moment & the moment was all about you ¿
Katy Perry - Thinking of You
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...
You're the best And yes I do regret How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
x
I think you'd ever only strike a conversation with me when you need my help or thank me for something. So it will start with 'thank you' with your favourite double chin smiley & end with 'welcome' or 'no problem' plus a smiley of my liking.
I'm sure it is not so hard to talk to me.. Or is it really this hard? I guess I made it this hard. I'm sorry.
But tonight I think this is the longest conversation we ever had between us after that we-all-know-because-of-what-stupid-things-I-did conversation. Yay or nay?
Yay for me but nay for you.
x
I like what we have now because there is this home feeling with you, not because of this complicated platonic relationship. I don't wanna go into talking about us again because I know after that you're gonna start behaving all weirdly, tell me things I don't wanna hear or things that would hurt me & the pain would last for a few days. I don't want that to happen. I wanna keep things how we're like now. Close like lovers are but inside, I don't know where your heart lies but I know the home of my heart is your heart.
"Your heart said so."
"No, I'm sure it didn't. Although my heart is nearer to you than it is to me, I am sure it wouldn't say that of you. My heart knows that I love you."
And next? I had to change topic with a snap of my fingers before you start your nonsense again. See how much I don't wanna hear what I don't wanna hear? I really like what we do together. Having plans for the next outing, next next outing, next next next outing just like before. Having plans to meet up with mutual friends for dinner or just to catch up over coffee, shop for the same things together, things you like = things I like, I know what you hate most & vice versa, knowing what each other is craving to have for dinner at that very moment, without having to ask we both know what we're thinking about just by exchanging glances.
You're the lover kind of best friend, the best friend kind of lover.
I don't think I can ever live without you, darling.
♥
I've been trying to cheer you up, put my unhappy self behind so it wouldn't affect your mood at all. And right now, I am so fucking drained. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Bedtime, g'night xx
Love me, because loves doesn't exist, & I have tried everything that does.
I had quite a blast today with J, the last Monday of 2008 :)
School was pretty alright. I weren't listening most of the time. Klissmas lunch was good :) Since when lunch wasn't good with the girls? More prease!
After lunch, I headed over to Cathay to meet J. Accompanied her to lunch at Plaza by the Park's Kopitiam, sat around & discussed about the birthday celebration. It was about time for our movie so we walked back to Cathay.
Guess what, Twilight was very very good. Fabulous. I love it!
E & B ♥
They make me want to be a vampire too. Be with the one you love forever & never die. Go without sleep for years and never get limited edition Gucci eye bags. Have perfect complexion. Strength. Speed. I want :(
I think I will watch it again.
After the movie, it was around 6pm. We went over to Clarke Quay. Wanted to have dinner at Fisherman's Wharf but the stench was unbearable. Didn't wanna smell bad after dinner either! So we took a train back to my place & had Ajisen instead :) Bumped into Yan (L)(L)(L) who's sick & back from KL!!!!! We exchanged presents & she got me this leopard & zebra printed buffers! Cuuuuute I like :) Thank you bff <3
We were early so we did the usual thing. Sat around at the park to talk. We had a lot of fun today, didn't we J? Laughing & teasing people, the jokes & all that. I love today :)
Right: I was laughing............
SO FAKE SIA
First attempt: FAILED
Second attempt: NOT TOO BAD
Third attempt: PERFECT LA
I am not going to do the assignment because I am very very tired. I only had few hours of sleep. I keep waking up throughout the night for god knows what reasons for god knows who. I am going to sleep without even doing Naidu's homework. Goodnight sugarbabies.
P/s: Thank you :) Happy 19th xoxo!
P/p/s: Yan wo ai ni hen duo, prease get well soon so we can go picnic karaoke shopping movie idk whatever everything anything wo ai ni! (L)
? But you're afraid in ways that I can't comprehend ¿
There's gotta be a reason for the rain.
I'm fucking early. I woke up at 6.30am. Zel was up at 6.50am for CCA fair. Stupid. I was ready to leave at 7.15am, much earlier than every other day. So I came on & watched Gossip Girl.
Yeh at 7 frikkin' am in the morning.
I was thinking if I should start on the homework Naidu give us, tsk. Assignments are not enough, still give homework :(
My eyez r so painfool & I love Blair. Serena's pretty. I h8 Vanessa's existance. I luv Gossip Girl.
Yayz klissmas lunch & Twilight l8r ^^
Ah Jems is still not done, I shall continue with GG.
I promise a proper update tonight!
♥
Glynis \g-ly-nis\ pronounced as glare-niece, lived through eighteen years of love, joy & hardship since 200890.
She's currently doing Diploma in Mass Communications in MDIS.
She takes interest in art, fashion, photography & not forgetting, shopping. Her friends & family are her utmost adoration.
She doesn't know what she wants anymore. All she knows is who she wants & it's the one who doesn't want her back.
TKC
? About the Site ¿
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