Wednesday, December 31, 2008
? You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind ¿
What a way to start the last day of 2008, the eve of the first day of 2009.
Not a fascinating way, but heart warming.
Because of you.
The longest & also the best conversation we had. Not better or longer than the ones we had when we were all good. But guess what? I was shaking when you said hello. My palms were perspiring, body shaking, heart racing. I never felt this way after mom & dad left for Beijing. I can always calm myself down easily but this time felt so..different. Why is it so difficult to, I don't know. I thought you were gonna throw into a fit and start being nasty to me but who knew the talk is looking good.
Fucking glad, fucking fucking relieved.
Despite what took place last noon.
Don't blame me for being angry. I mean, natural reaction right? You probably don't give two fucks about it if it were me but because I do, that's why I reacted this way. But then on my way home, I thought if I were in the same position, I'd do the same. I should've understand. My bad.
But I'm all good now, and you know that.
Honestly, I had a lot more than just that to ask you. Like why didn't you ask, why didn't you come, what if I asked you out, do you miss me, do you think of me, do you wish i was right where you were, do you wish i was there to listen to you, do you wish this whole episode didn't took place & all that. I'm sure you can feel it too. I just..didn't have that much amount of courage to ask and not get upset with your reply. Plus you weren't asking me anything, saying you've gotten all the answers you needed..which make me feel like I shouldn't ask too much just so I won't irritate you. Maybe not tonight. I don't know when would I have a chance to talk to you like this again but I hope there will be a chance.
"Be there as much as possible, because that's the only time I can be near you, be close to you, being in your presence, at every possible moment of your life. Is it too big a request?"
Every possible moment of your life.
I wish you were nearer, I wish you were here.
You know I will spill my heart & let the emotions & thoughts of you flow here in my only outlet, any day. If you ever think that no one cares or loves you, please know you still have me darling.
Because I love you too, always have & always will.
♥
I've waited so long to prove that I'm in love with you, will every door that's open lead me straight to you?
Not a fascinating way, but heart warming.
Because of you.
The longest & also the best conversation we had. Not better or longer than the ones we had when we were all good. But guess what? I was shaking when you said hello. My palms were perspiring, body shaking, heart racing. I never felt this way after mom & dad left for Beijing. I can always calm myself down easily but this time felt so..different. Why is it so difficult to, I don't know. I thought you were gonna throw into a fit and start being nasty to me but who knew the talk is looking good.
Fucking glad, fucking fucking relieved.
Despite what took place last noon.
Don't blame me for being angry. I mean, natural reaction right? You probably don't give two fucks about it if it were me but because I do, that's why I reacted this way. But then on my way home, I thought if I were in the same position, I'd do the same. I should've understand. My bad.
But I'm all good now, and you know that.
Honestly, I had a lot more than just that to ask you. Like why didn't you ask, why didn't you come, what if I asked you out, do you miss me, do you think of me, do you wish i was right where you were, do you wish i was there to listen to you, do you wish this whole episode didn't took place & all that. I'm sure you can feel it too. I just..didn't have that much amount of courage to ask and not get upset with your reply. Plus you weren't asking me anything, saying you've gotten all the answers you needed..which make me feel like I shouldn't ask too much just so I won't irritate you. Maybe not tonight. I don't know when would I have a chance to talk to you like this again but I hope there will be a chance.
"Be there as much as possible, because that's the only time I can be near you, be close to you, being in your presence, at every possible moment of your life. Is it too big a request?"
Every possible moment of your life.
I wish you were nearer, I wish you were here.
You know I will spill my heart & let the emotions & thoughts of you flow here in my only outlet, any day. If you ever think that no one cares or loves you, please know you still have me darling.
Because I love you too, always have & always will.
♥
I've waited so long to prove that I'm in love with you, will every door that's open lead me straight to you?
Labels: emotional ramblings, emotions, random, rant, thoughts
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