Saturday, December 27, 2008
? I'm never going to know you now but I'm going to love you anyhow ¿
Why do I have a strong gut feeling that you met someone new?
It's been draining on me these days but I still stay up and think of you tonight. Well, another miss you nights. The way you looked, the way you smiled, the way you held, the way you did your walk, the way you said thank you, the way you said fuck you. Why can't I not remember so much about you?
I remind myself constantly that when I do all of these for you, you do not know a single thing about it. If you'd get to know about it, you cannot be bothered by it either. You would not feel sorry for me, or even a least bit thankful for all that I've done.
I don't know anything but I know I still want the best for you.
And, I wished you asked. I wished you didn't just reply a simple 'fuck you'. Can I also mention that we were all disappointed that you did not bother to? I wished you remembered what you said the other time. I wished you remember everything like the way I did. I wished you knew how much I've missed & still missing you. I wished you knew your hugs are the warmest in the times of coldness like this. I wished you knew when tears fall your kisses would soothe me in a millisecond. I wished you knew when I need a listener or someone to rant to about my bad day I would think of you as the best candidate to pick from. I wished you knew you're in my prayers every single night. I wished you knew I always love to see your pretty face on my cellphone screen. I wished you knew what I really wish for & want this Christmas. I wished when you look at me it reminds you just as much happy times as it does for me. I wish you would not just stay in this silence but finally break it. I wished you find it hard to look at me in the eye. I wish you would make an effort to take a second look at me. I wish you knew how much I've wished & still wishing for you.
I wished you'd never meet someone like me.
'Cos everything inside it never comes out right & when I see you cry, it makes me wanna die. I'm sorry about all the things I said to you & I know I can't take it back.
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds.
♥
It's been draining on me these days but I still stay up and think of you tonight. Well, another miss you nights. The way you looked, the way you smiled, the way you held, the way you did your walk, the way you said thank you, the way you said fuck you. Why can't I not remember so much about you?
I remind myself constantly that when I do all of these for you, you do not know a single thing about it. If you'd get to know about it, you cannot be bothered by it either. You would not feel sorry for me, or even a least bit thankful for all that I've done.
I don't know anything but I know I still want the best for you.
And, I wished you asked. I wished you didn't just reply a simple 'fuck you'. Can I also mention that we were all disappointed that you did not bother to? I wished you remembered what you said the other time. I wished you remember everything like the way I did. I wished you knew how much I've missed & still missing you. I wished you knew your hugs are the warmest in the times of coldness like this. I wished you knew when tears fall your kisses would soothe me in a millisecond. I wished you knew when I need a listener or someone to rant to about my bad day I would think of you as the best candidate to pick from. I wished you knew you're in my prayers every single night. I wished you knew I always love to see your pretty face on my cellphone screen. I wished you knew what I really wish for & want this Christmas. I wished when you look at me it reminds you just as much happy times as it does for me. I wish you would not just stay in this silence but finally break it. I wished you find it hard to look at me in the eye. I wish you would make an effort to take a second look at me. I wish you knew how much I've wished & still wishing for you.
I wished you'd never meet someone like me.
'Cos everything inside it never comes out right & when I see you cry, it makes me wanna die. I'm sorry about all the things I said to you & I know I can't take it back.
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds.
♥
Labels: emotional ramblings, emotions, random, rant, saturday, thoughts
e_motionallystripped