Wednesday, November 12, 2008
? Your head is hanging trying to beat those goodbye blues ¿
I'm a lot better today than every other day. I deserve a pat on my shoulders & a beeg hug :) I just hope this feeling lasts for long. Mom was looking at how I played Pet Society all day with the iTunes on & the telly on. And she said I'm childish!! :( We had Gelare waffles for supper again tonight. It was good. Tomorrow I'll go have fun with Zel & Che!
Sometimes you need a second chance because you weren't quite ready for your first.
I often wonder if the second chance was worthy or do we even need it or should we just forgo it & move on with our lives like how we are already trying to do? Do I even deserve the second chance?
***
After all my time here on this earth, I've learned a few things. But above all things, I've learned that you will know when you're in love. You'll feel it. And trust me, the one you love will never hurt you. Never. He will always be there for you no matter what. Sometimes you don't realize how much you really love him until you really think about it, but once you find these feelings, there's nothing that could possibly take them away. Not the biggest storm of the century, not miles, not someone else, not family, not age, nothing. Love can never be taken away.
We were on the bus & I was leaning on your chest, trying so hard to sleep. You were breathing deeply, slowly, and your heart was beating fast. All I could do was count the beats. Wondering what was in your heart, wondering who was on your mind..
You wouldn't be paying attention, so I'd just stop & stare. Everything you do, whether you mean to do it or not, it makes me love you even more. You'd notice me watching & smile or make a silly face at me. You'd hit my knee & grab my hand. You'd lace my fingers with yours, you'd play with my hands & tell me how fair as sheet I am. You'd make fun of me & we'd hit each other while we fought about who was better. You would refuse my money, but I'd always sneak it into your pocket when you weren't looking. You'd try to sneak it back, but I was always too smart for you. You snuck up behind me, you tickled me & you made me go down to meet my mom. You dragged me down the hall while I was screaming, saying I didn't want to go. You made sure I didn't get in any trouble. You looked out for me. Things were perfect. I could not come close to asking for more.
Being friends with someone you would rather be in love with is like being invited behind the barn "to look at the stars" & only looking at the stars. Somehow I wish you knew how hard it is to keep pretending like all that we had was nothing at all. Like it was all a good dream.
"Do whatever that makes you feel better?"
"You know what? What that makes me feel better is what that makes me the way I am right now. Same person, same thing."
Oh, one more thing before you leave, just the thought of you makes my heart soar. :)
Labels: emotional ramblings, emotions, home, supper, tuesday
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