Friday, November 7, 2008
? I'm not coming back, I'm closing the door ¿
I can't say "screw you" about the one that I came the closest to loving. I would still do anything for you even though I know you wouldn't do the same for me, & it hurts more than anything, but I can't stop loving you.
Trust me I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can just fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you're ready to let it all end. Trust me. I know exactly how it feels.
As much as I wanna hurt myself so it wouldn't feel so bad here in the chest, I can't. Whatever you said kept ringing in my head. I kinda wish you didn't say any of that so I can do all that act again. I hope it is this bad for you, I hope it's true..
You must be glad that we've finally come to an end.
Besides you're probably holding hands with some skinny, pretty girl that likes to talk about bands, and all I wanna do is ride bikes with you. And stay up late to watch trutv, The OC, The Lword & whatnot. I don't wanna say that I miss you. I don't wanna tell you how you've been running at 20km/h in my mind & I can't seem to stop you. I don't wanna tell you how your laughter still rings so clear in my ears whenever I recall that time I tickled you. I don't wanna tell you your ^^ smile is so adorable, so unforgettable but yet so painful to be reminded of. I don't wanna tell you how I miss walking next to you, holding hands or not, talking or not. I don't wanna tell you how much I want to run to you now to just sniff your smelly smell. I don't wanna tell you how I'd anticipate & get all excited to meet you. I don't wanna tell you how it still make me smile whenever I think that warm fuzzy feeling when you hug me. I don't wanna tell you how I fall asleep every night very peacefully after our late night phone calls. I don't wanna tell you how I'd whisper your name & smile to myself at least once before the day is through. I don't wanna tell you that you have a big huge of me with you wherever you are so you're never alone & I don't want you to ever forget that. I don't wanna tell you how hard I tripped and fell hard for you this time..
You're a hugeass mistake worth making.
And trust me, you're more amazing than you think.
Baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely..
(P/s: Proper update l8r? :))
Labels: emotional ramblings, emotions, friday, rant
e_motionallystripped