Tuesday, July 1, 2008
? You were all I'd ever wanted ¿
Work was soo boring. Dale came by with Shar & gave me shock. I was quite surprised to see them. Joy came by later & she really made me laughed like some idiot.
After the long talk I had with C today, I realised how fortunate I am to have Jvern.
My heart went out to her when she was ranting to me about how horrible life has been treating her. She was fighting with the tears, I could tell. At that moment, I told myself I'm going t (try to) stop complaining about how Jvern doesn't know me inside out & outside in, how Jvern isn't tall enough so I can lie on her shoulders nicely without having to move, how Jvern is so calculative with certain things, how Jvern can't make sacrifices for me.. I keep blaming myself now for treating her so badly all the time. Having her to buy whatever I want, having her to accompany me home, having her to pay for my cab fare wherever I go, having her to pay for my meals - now I am so full of guilt.
I am so fortunate. I cannot stop telling myself that.
And quite honestly, this relationship changed me. I see a very different me right now as compared to when I was with Xav. Or maybe it isn't the relationship..
I'm feeling so much pain today. Xav is calling later to talk. I hate to see her this way.
Tonight, I'll be busy. Busy mending broken hearts.
Labels: emotional ramblings, tuesday, work
e_motionallystripped