Wednesday, January 30, 2008
? Just memory on a page inside a spiral notebook ¿
Now you're standing all alone and it's your fault.
I'm so jaded of this kinda attitude that I get from you everyday. Why is it that when I wanna try, I always get rejected by you? When I try, you don't see it. When we start to talk about it, you'll say how I did not try hard enough for you. You'll mention how we don't "stand together" for God knows what reason. I have you ranting at me, screaming and shouting, almost bursting my eardrums. When I merely told you to lower your volume, you claimed that I'm shouting. I don't know in what kinda tone do you want me to talk to you so it wouldn't seem like I'm shouting at you. I'm so jaded, you know. You say things that hurt right deep down without knowing. "Uh just to let you know ah, I not sending you home tomorrow hor. Just in case you.. a lot of problem so better say first ah." So what was that supposed to mean? I sense sarcasm. I didn't beg & go on my knees to ask you to pick me & send me home. Don't make it sound as though like I did. I thought, having you around on the day I get my results would make me feel better, in any case that I don't do well or whatever. But who knew? It made me felt worst. A lot worser than I ever thought. Like you said, I was never there half the time you needed me. And now I'm telling you. Vice versa. I had enough, I cannot take it anymore..
This is me, breaking down.
Letting you go is just a matter of time.
Even a moron would know, flu does not come by with a snap of fingers.
PERIOD
/
I thought I was lucky to get a pair of stockings at $9 but while lj-hopping this afternoon, I found out that GrannyCupboard@Lj is selling it at $6 (link?)!! I went O.O & I was so pissed off with myself. It happens all the time. I hate it :(
A fucking kewtz video that Shane showed me this morning :)
Oh yes, just in case you're wondering, I didn't work today :) Boss would be out all day so she told me not to go over. Yay tomorrow's my last second day at work & yeh, I'd really miss them :/ Sigh. Nevermind, don't talk about work, I'm depressed enough.
To make the day worstttttt, it's the time of the month. Fuck it :(
I spent the whole day with mummy today. We chatted a lot while she was playing computer games on the desktop & I was reading through the lj communities. It's been long since we last chatted like that. After zel came home & needed to use the room for tuition, I did some misc stuff & went to accompany mom in the room. Got tired after chatting & I fell asleep. Mom usually don't allow me to sleep on her bed. Haha she doesn't like it. (Neither do I! I don't like my bed to be messy) But today she didn't say anything. Dad was out for dinner with his friends. We watched telly while having dinner. Kinship II = Love. I told mom I'd rush home by cab if I can't reach home on time to watch. She warned me not to :/ Heh. After dinner, we went to get Chinese New Year junk & watched more telly.
And mom's finally accepting the fact that I'm going to have my own shop. Ahh, I'm so happy! To make this whole issue better, she even supported my idea & chipped in a little in my proposal :) Love Mom♥
I watched Laguna Beach on the net today. Whoo! Love it. I'm trying to find the soundtracks on the net but to no avail. Maybe I'll use Limewire on the desktop tomorrow.
I know it's too late & I should have given you a reason to stay♥
I woke up 7am today. My head's heavy. I'm going to bed now. I don't wanna think so much. I hope troubles wouldn't find me, so these sleepless nights would just go away. I'm so tired but I can't go to sleep every night. Sigh :( Why do I have so much to worry about ugh! K shut up Glynis. Goodnight hons :)
I can't believe we're doing this.
And all the secrets that we've kept,
have kept us from the best of this.
The best of you and me.
Labels: emotional ramblings, onlineshopping, rant, video, wednesday
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